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“Typically, a low-dose SSRI works magic.”
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Paul Fedoroff, who is a neuropsychiatrist, a forensic psychiatrist, and the director of the Sexual Behaviours Clinic at the Royal Ottawa Mental Health Centre. “These problems are often highly treatable,” said Dr. So is there anything you can do about your kink? And when your girlfriend inevitably stumbles over-read: snoops and finds-evidence that you’ve been sneaking around behind her back with other men, you won’t be explaining just your kink to her, BSTD, but your betrayal too. But secret double lives are stressful, and most people leading them eventually get found out. And as your encounters with other men pose no physical risk to your female partners (you’re not exactly gonna catch an STI getting kicked in the nuts), you can certainly justify getting your balls busted on the DL. While that kind of override is not unheard of, it’s not something that’s easily explained to a girlfriend. As one sex researcher I shared your letter with put it, BSTD, your kink involves an “override” of your usual erotic “target interest”, i.e., women. Which is not to say that a kink like yours is easily incorporated into a person’s sex life. So take comfort: the fact that you have this kink isn’t proof that there’s something wrong with you. But it probably has something to do with your big, complex brain and the way it makes big, abstract, and sometimes seemingly random connections-the kind of connections that lead to syntactical speech, creative intelligence, and crazy-ass kinks. We simply don’t know why a person has this, that, or the other kink, BSTD, and almost everyone has at least one sexual interest that is seen as kinky by those who don’t share it. So why does having your balls busted by other dudes turn you on when you’re not even remotely interested in other dudes romantically or sexually? No idea. “ diversity may be an inevitable evolutionary trade-off-the price paid for the freeing of the primate brain to develop its uniquely human genesis of syntactical speech and creative intelligence.” “A wide range of sexuoerotic diversity has its counterpart in the diversity of languages historically manifested in the human species,” Money wrote in his book Lovemaps: Clinical Concepts of Sexual/Erotic Health and Pathology, Paraphilia, and Gender Transposition in Childhood, Adolescence, and Maturity. He was wrong about a lot of things, from gender being socially constructed to “affectional pedophilia” being harmless, but Money was on to something when he wrote about paraphilias, aka kinks. I was hoping that you might have some advice or insight to explain why my brain is so messed up about all this and what I can do.Īt the risk of my inbox filling with angry emails-a risk I run on a weekly basis-I’m gonna quote the late psychologist and sexologist John Money. I’m confused and really just don’t know what to do about it. I seem to need to get it every couple of months, otherwise I get stir-crazy. I’ve tried to subdue my urges to get my balls busted, but I can’t. I’ve thought of trying a relationship with a guy, but I don’t know how that would work since I’m really not into having any kind of sex with a guy. It feels like I’m leading a double life, but I don’t know what to do. In my current relationship, I’ve snuck out and met with guys I’ve found online to have my balls busted. In fact, while sitting here writing this question to you, I’m hard because you’re a good-looking guy and I’d love to have you kick my balls. Sometimes I can see a good-looking guy on the street and I’ll get hard just thinking about his feet kicking my balls. I’ve tried getting busted by girls, watching videos of girls kicking men in the balls, et cetera, but I never even get hard from it. Only ball busting with a guy turns me on. I thought I might be bisexual, since I want guys to kick me in the balls, but I don’t get turned on by the idea of sucking cock or getting fucked by a guy. I’ve been hit in the balls by girls, and it doesn’t do anything for me. The fucked-up thing is, I only enjoy getting my balls busted by other guys. I am a straight 29-year-old guy and I’ve been into ball busting-having my balls kicked and stomped-since I was 14.